The 12 stages of a Premier League Deadline Day transfer

Transfers are a tricky thing. Just ask Ed Woodward and Florentino Pérez.

They're even trickier when you're watching from the outside but, every deadline day (sorry, Deadline Day), we fail to contain our excitement and meltdowns. So here are the 12 steps to every transfer that every football fan can resonate with. 1. A player follows a club on Twitter What does this mean? 2. Guillem Balague tells us exactly what will happen 3. It is definitely happening 4. The deal is off Balague is missing and United never wanted him anyway. 5. A random player is installed as the new top target 6. Who? United fans are not happy. 7. He's obviously a wonder kid 8. The In The Knows grab their 15 minutes of fame Having appeared from virtually nowhere. 9. United fans are happy 10. Stats emerge 11. Stats emerge Proper stats 12. Guillem Balague tells us exactly what will happen United fans are on top of the world having closed the deal of the window.