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Published 18:45 25 Jun 2017 BST
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Next up was Kem. Despite starting at West Ham, we learn that a mysterious preseason 'incident' sees him drop to non-league football with the R. Kelly-singing Billericay Town. Damn shame. What a waste.
Thirdly, we discover that Marcel would've been a prolific scorer in both League One and international football had he not embarked on his Blazin' Squad adventure.
Sam's footballing talents would've been enough for him to breakthrough at Bolton before he'd even left school.
Chris, however, has had to take a very different route after injury cut his playing days short. Good luck to him though.
As for Dom, he's a versatile Dutch defender that's destined to never make that big money move to the Premier League.
Finally, there's Simon, who is a French centre-half who joins Chelsea. Twice.
As the number of retweets suggests, the thread amused plenty of people. If you're anything like us, you'll probably not be able to think of anything else the next time it's on the telly.
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