UFC hire illustrious steroid investigator to lead drug testing programme

The UFC have made a real statement with their latest signing.

The UFC announced today that they have hired of Jeff Novitzky as Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance. Novitzky will spearhead the new programme to combat the growing epidemic of PEDs that is plaguing MMA. A federal agent for the FDA since 2008, Novitzky led investigations into companies suspected of illegal distribution of dietary supplements and designer steroids. Novitzky was also a special agent for the IRS, where he investigated some of the highest-profile performance enhancing drug (PED) cases in professional sports, including the BALCO scandal and more recently, the Lance Armstrong debacle. He was also a key player in the case brought against former Olympian Marion Jones, who eventually pled guilty for making false statements to Novitzky about her own PED use. Novitzky has been described as a modern day Eliot Ness aka the prohibition era agent who Rex Banner from the Simpsons was based on. The UFC's decision to hire is a real signal of intent that they aim to engage in a full-on attack on the drug problem that's crippling the sport. He expressed his delight at joining the world's largest MMA promotion.

“I am thrilled to be joining a world-class organisation like UFC, that is committed to taking the necessary steps to ensure all of its athletes are competing in a clean sport." "I am confident that UFC will be able to create a new gold standard testing program and implement it so a sustainable and level playing field is provided for all athletes.”

After this speech, we can only assume that he stood looking out into the horizon and proclaimed, "I'll get you PED baron".