Anonymous friend reveals the wonderful world of Fifa snitch Chuck Blazer

We've all heard about the cats having their own apartment in Trump Tower, but a New York Daily News article penned by an anonymous former friend of Chuck Blazer has revealed all sorts of other juicy details about the FBI's new favourite snitch

Here are some of our favourites: - He high-fived Russian president Vladimir Putin after a one-to-one meeting in the Kremlin ended with Putin telling Blazer he looked like Karl Marx. - He regularly brought friends, colleagues and anyone else he was trying to impress to Stringfellow's strip club, charging the tab to his Fifa credit card under 'SONY' - Stringfellow's Of New York. - He said his voice was like 'liquid chocolate' and that he was capable of wooing any woman he wanted with 'the look'. - In addition to the cats, Blazer owned a pet macaw named Max, which had its own room in his apartment, decked out 'with jungle plants, a bench, a wide-screen TV tuned to the Discovery Channel, and a spectacular view of the Empire State building'. - While touring Central Park on his mobility scooter, Blazer would laugh as Max would snap at nearby children.