Louis van Gaal’s plans to stop people spying on Manchester United are a bit extreme

Louis van Gaal seems to have reacted badly to Manchester United's hammering at Arsenal.

The United boss has ordered a perimeter fence to be built around United's Aon training ground so no one can spy on the club's tactics, in a move not dissimilar to something Liverpool have done. Chalk it down to paranoia brought on by the new James Bond film, or terrified dot-joining on the basis of Jose Mourinho's infamous accusations of voyeurism against Arsene Wenger, but LVG is taking things seriously. The Daily Mail reported that it will in part be an opportunity for sponsors logos to be displayed on the green canvas fence. But we've got another theory, namely that it's the manager's final hail-Mary in an effort to keep exiled goalkeeper Victor Valdes away from his team mates. It's a win-win: either Valdes leaves for good, or United end up with a superhuman goalkeeper capable of scaling perimeter fences and - by extension - presumably even better at commanding his penalty area. We see what you're doing, Louis.