Luis Suarez’s toilet habit revelation will sends shock waves throughout the football world

As far as cutting-edge, informative sports news stories go, this one takes some beating.

Luis Suarez, one third of the most fearsome attacking trio the game of football has ever seen, has been opening up about his toilet habits while doing a television appearance back in his native Uruguay. The 29-year-old Barcelona striker has confessed that his obsession with hygiene causes him to sit down when he has a wee. "When peeing I am a clean man," he is quoted as saying by The Sun. "This is an issue of hygiene for me because I have two children," he adds before delivering an absolute blinder of a line.... "I do not want it to squirt on the ground, so I pee sitting down." As much as we'd love to think that Suarez has deliberately come up with the ingenious rhyming phrase to front his new campaign for clean peeing, unfortunately, his comments were translated from Spanish - and the rhyme was a mere coincidence.