Every summer has one of these: a protracted and drawn out transfer saga that goes through all the classic stages.
This year Mr Paul Pogba has been starring in the lead role of the story of his proposed move to Manchester United.
Reports today reckon Pogba is actually now in Manchester for a medical, so where does that put us in the Six Official Stages of a Transfer Saga?
Stage 1: The link
Exciting player linked with big club. In this case, it happened so long ago we can't even really remember when it started.
Stage 2: The clues
Fans and the press over-analyse and hang on every word/gesture/photograph/anything made by either the player in question, his agent, his manager, his current club, his potential new club, or his potential new manager.
We've been in this phase at least since the start of the summer window, and it has included things like this:
https://twitter.com/bIindinho/status/761495994320183296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
This:
https://twitter.com/hesham786/status/761248039709315072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
And this:
Stage 3: The race to be first
This is when newspapers and media outlets battle to be the first place to confirm the deal is on, usually with a series of caveats on the copy - things like "all that remains is for the two clubs to agree the fee" or "his agent will now negotiate his personal terms" or "subject to medical", which leads us on to...
Stage 4: Where's wally?
Once there is a general consensus that the deal is happening, what follows is a phase that is like the hunt for Jason Bourne. He's been spotted at an airport. He's on a private jet heading for Manchester (activate Flight Radar Tracker). There's a long lens photograph circulating on the internet of someone that could be him if you squint and look at it sideways. He's been seen at a hospital! Or sometimes he hasn't even been seen, but "sources" report that he is in Manchester for a medical. This is where we are now with the tale of Paul Pogba and his
Big Move to Manchester United.
Both
La Gazzetta dello Sport and
L'Equipe are reporting that he flew into Manchester last night for a "secret" medical. As far as we can tell, no one is claiming to have seen him yet, but that will come soon.
Then all that remains is...
Stage 5: There he is!
The Sky Sports News cameras catch a glimpse of the player, huddled in the back of an expensive car, being driven into the training ground. From then on your fearless Sky man will be rooted to the spot, bringing you updates on the half hour, until the deal is done, with only his Sky-issue parka to keep him warm, and a couple of gurning morons in the background for company.
Stage 6: It's official
Then finally, the club release a statement confirming the deal. And everyone can go back to their lives.
So on behalf of all football fans, a plea to Manchester United: Come on, please, please, please put us out of our misery. Please?
