Thierry Henry rails against new-born baby celebrations

Thierry Henry rails against new-born baby celebrations

"It's not like they've done anything yet." Thierry Henry has hit out at mothers and fathers the world over for celebrating the birth of their children. The former French footballer was visibly disgusted when he was pressed on the issue on this morning's airing of Loose Women and he described parental joy for their newborns as 'OTT'. "They're celebrating as if something great has happened when, in reality, they just have a crying baby on their hands," Henry explained. "They haven't even begun raising the child yet and they are celebrating the job they have done? "And what about Cristiano? I see all these pictures from the hospital and not one of them pay gratitude to Ronaldo when he was probably the inspiration for both the woman and the man on the night of the conception. It's not right. Go celebrate with Ronaldo."

UEFA charge Javier Hernandez over Bernabeu celebration

He may have been the hero of the tie but the chickens have come home to roost for Javier Hernandez after his ill-advised decision to celebrate his match-winning goal on Wednesday night. The Real Madrid attacker has been hit with a UEFA charge for the way he marked his 88th minute strike against Atletico in the Champions League quarter final and is now facing a six-game suspension. Los Blancos advanced to the last four of the European competition but their victory was marred by Chicharito's actions when he wheeled away in celebration towards the home support. He is also set to cop a hefty fine if he is found guilty of breaching law 634.7.9.A (acting and/or intending to act in a euphoric manner), law 733.2B (failing to credit the assist) or law 861.5.6.B (casting a shadow on Cristiano Ronaldo's limelight). And Hernandez's Real Madrid team mate, Pepe, admitted that the club 'probably' wouldn't appeal the striker's impending suspension. "I haven't seen the incident," the defender said. "I've been told about it and, if what I heard is true, then Chicharito will probably just have to accept his punishment. We have a way of doing things at this club and that is not the Real Madrid way."

Widespread despair as nobody knows how to punish Jack Grealish for not doing anything wrong

Police have confirmed that they have been contacted by several members of the public asking 'are you sure there's nothing at all you can do?' after pictures emerged of three 19-year-olds doing nothing wrong at a house party last week. Reports that Aston Villa teenager, Jack Grealish, was among those doing nothing wrong by inhaling the perfectly legal 'laughing gas' have been met with widespread disdain by those who feel the midfielder has been exposed as the law abiding citizen he really is. Calls have been made for the youngster to be made an example of but, as yet, nobody can quite agree on the severity of the punishment, only that he and others like Raheem Sterling must be punished as we can't be expected to tolerate these things anymore. "He's supposed to be a role model. This man, this petulant man is supposed to set an example for our kids and this is how he spends his money and his spare time. What's next? Murder? He needs to be locked up with the key thrown away so the message is clear that this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated," Katie Hopkins said.

GAA background helped me excel at my own sport: Eddie Irvine

Former Formula One star, Eddie Irvine, has hailed his GAA past as the reason he succeeded in driving. Men like Ireland rugby international, Rob Henshaw, and Aston Villa's rising star, Jack Grealish, already know that they wouldn't be where they are today if it wasn't for their background with an O'Neill's ball and Eddie Irvine is no different. The Ferrari legend, who hails from the GAA stronghold of Newtownards, credited his Gaelic Football roots for honing his skill behind the steering wheel. "I used to play all the time as a kid," he admitted. "I think I learned a lot from kicking ball that I was able to bring to my driving and things like high catching and tackling, it's all transferable. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for the GAA."

Sepp Blatter drafts in Jarlath Burns to prevent the death of soccer

FIFA have turned to the GAA in a bid to protect the future of their game. Real Madrid's 1-0 victory over Atletico in the Champions League quarter finals was widely criticised for its lack of entertainment and fears have spread that no-one will bother going to matches if it continues like it is. Diego Simeone's defensive approach has threatened the very existence of soccer and something has to do be done because the Argentine wouldn't allow Real to walk all over them. Armagh GAA legend and member of the Football Review Committee, Burns, has been drafted in to look at ways of reviving FIFA's global game before it moves beyond a state of disrepair. Burns is said to be championing a 'bigger goals' motion and a new rule that stipulates teams must have at least three men in the other team's half of the field at all times. "If they're offside, then so be it," Burns stated.