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Published 09:48 15 May 2015 BST
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However, a £40m move for Harry Kane seems sensible compared to the madness being floated by The Metro.
They say United are closing in on signing Man City target Kevin De Bruyne for a remarkably specific fee of £58.1m.
The player was quoted as saying he may not be at Wolfsburg next season, putting several big sides on red alert.
"As a player it is so stupid to say that I will stay here and then some big club is coming in and offer Wolfsburg a lot of money that they want and they say you can go or something like that.
"I’m very happy here and I think I will play here next season but I can’t give you a 100 per cent guarantee."
However, we do have to laugh at the suggested £58.1m, which doesn't seem to have been sourced from anywhere.
Usually, when we see transfer fees this specific, we tend to see what the corresponding figure is in euro, to see if that's a round figure.
However, with £58.1m coming in at around €80.3m, so we'll just have to wait and see.
However, one player United now seem to be fighting a losing battle for is Nathaniel Clyne, with Southampton now confident the player will sign a new deal.
The 24-year-old has long been linked with a move to join up with former teammate Luke Shaw, but it could now be in doubt, after the Mirror say the player has entered new contract talks with the Saints, after changing his agent.
Two players that could be going out the door at Old Trafford are Robin Van Persie and Angel di Maria, with United needing to sell before they can buy Real Madrid's Gareth Bale.
The Mirror say United will have to get the pair, who earn a combined £500,000 a week, off the books if they can justify a move for Bale.
United missed out on Bale when he joined Real in the summer of 2013, but could land him in the next transfer window for upwards of £80m.
Moving across Manchester now to Man City, and Manuel Pellegrini's side are moving in on Atletico Madrid pair Antoine Griezmann and Koke.
However, The Guardian say that Atletico won't give up without a fight, and are hoping to increase their release clauses to around £100m.
Currently, the pair are believed to be available under their clauses for around £43m, but the Spanish champions are eager to get as much as they can for two of their biggest stars.
Liverpool may have to pay as much as £20m if they are to land Real Sociedad's Inigo Martinez this summer.
Talksport say David Moyes is keen to hold onto the defender, but may have no option if Liverpool match his release clause.
They say Liverpool have already had one offer rejected, but are considering coming back with an improved offer.
Petr Cech's Chelsea departure now looks a certainty, after the Mail revealed the player has been given permission by Chelsea to speak to other clubs.
Cech is keen to end his 11 year career with the Blues, after being reduced to second choice following the emergence of Thibaut Courtois.
Arsenal have been touted as the most likely destination for the 32-year old, and that now seems to be a step, with his agent confirming Chelsea are allowing him to discuss terms with potential suitors.
And if the Gunners miss out on the Chelsea legend, they will turn their attentions to Leicester's Kasper Schmeichel.
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