White witch has come up with *guaranteed* way to prevent cruciate ligament injuries

Barney Rubble.

We'd like to consider ourselves a fairly opened minded bunch here in SportsJOE, but we're not sure we can accept Burnley's solution to the cruciate ligament problem that has beset the club recently. The Championship outfit have seen four players struck down with the devastating knee injury in the last 18 months, with Sam Vokes, Kevin Long, Dean Marney and Ashley Barnes all suffering the same problem. And just last weekend they saw Lucas Jutkiewicz struck down with a similar problem. Normally you would put a run like that down to bad luck, or maybe dodgy pitches or incorrect training. All things you would think would be out of your control. But the club have been told that the run of injuries is not down to mere misfortune. Instead, according to a 'white' witch by the name of Kevin Carylon, it's because of something rotten at Turf Moor,

"With all the injuries being the exact same it seems as if evil has been to work”.

The loon  white witch feels that if the club do not act now the the evil at work in the club will start to affect things behind the scenes such as their financial plight or maintenance issues within the grounds. To prevent the spread of ebola evil Kevin performed an incantation to make sure the club will never suffer an cruciate ligament injury again. Helpfully Kevin has allowed his incantation to be published in full in the Telegraph so that others may learn the mystical ways in which reciting some words can stop you knee from buckling under you The incantation is actually called 'Hocus Pocus' but we're not one to judge. We're open minded remember and since he performed the incantation the club have been injury free. Ok, so it was only two days ago hand they haven't played a game since. But still, 70% of the time it works all the time, right?

“To this circle I now add my spirit, and now as all these elements are combined, I purify and energize a circle of power. So may it be done. “I now ask the element of nature to reach out and allow me to perform this spell to both protect and reach out to the ground, now used by Burnley FC. And as I reach out, I protect the club from any evil intent. “I now reach out to Burnley FC to both protect and increase the luck of all players. Whoever has placed these malicious and demonic energies – may the elements of nature rebound this to the place it came from. “On this day, I ask that luck and health comes to all that use the football ground, including members of staff, the players, and fans attending matches. “May it be that by Halloween, those repetitive knee injuries are stopped, and may the energies that I invoke start a run of increased luck for Burnley. “May it be that a psychic wall be placed across the goalmouth of Burnley FC each time they play, and a winning streak be played upon the club so that it’s fortunes return.

Maybe Mayo should give him a call if they don't win Sam Maguire this year. Here't the man himself that performed the 'magic' https://twitter.com/KevtheWitch/status/613815737044627456