13 children’s novels we sincerely wish Conor McGregor had written (NSFW)

Bedtime stories would never be the same again.

Picture this. You're a child (this should be relatively easy, most of us were children at one point in our lives) and you've been chosen to appear on the Late Late Toy Show. Hooray for you! The only thing is, instead of getting to do a review something exciting like the latest gameboy, you've been selected to do the worst task of all. No, not he thankless duties of one of the unpaid interns, but review books. You can try to argue the case that a book is clearly not a toy all you want, but any resistance will see you booted off the show and imprisoned in one of the infamous child labour camps that RTE have secretly set up in the desolate depths of Carlow (clearly taking the Mickey, please don't lawyer up/ send me away to one of your Leitrim-based torture houses) So the best course of action would be to just suck it up, read the books, and try not to stutter as you rattle off those topical "zingers" your pushy parents forced you to learn. What if the act of reading wasn't so insufferable to an innocent mind? What if there was a way to breath new life into the art of storytelling for kids, to revitalise the genre and make children rediscover the joys of reading? We believe we've found the solution, have some beloved children's books rewritten by trash-talking maestro Conor McGregor. 1. I Love You Through and Through by Bernadette Rossetti Shustak 2. Where's Waldo? by Martin Handford 3. Leprechaun in Late Winter by Mary Pope Osbourne 4. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper 5. Little Red Riding Hood by Charles Perrault 6. Dennis the Menace 7. Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne 8. Sniff, Sniff by Dana Meachen Rau 9. Danny the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl 10. A Little Old Man by Natalie Norton 11. Goosebumps: Chicken Chicken by R.L. Stine 12. Cinderella's Bum by Nicholas Allan 13. I Know it's Autumn by Eileen Spinelli