SportsJOE columnist David Wallace talks punditry, Drico and the legend that is Randy Marsh

Get to know former Munster and Ireland flanker David Wallace, the newest signing to the SportsJOE team...

Welcome to SportsJOE, David, what can our readers expect from you? A genuine insight into the provincial and international game. Having played for Munster and Ireland for 14 seasons, I will be seeking to give readers an idea of what the players are thinking in the lead-up to, and during, big games. Most rugby fans only get the media slant on events or what they're told on TV. From playing at the highest level I know that committing to the nuts and bolts of the game are what get you over the line 95 per cent of the time. Analysing the breakdown, running lines and defence are areas I'm comfortable in. Ask me about goal-kicking technique and I might be struggling. I've gradually taken to the pundit and analysis game. I've started to do some TV work and am looking forward to getting involved at SportsJOE. It keeps me out of the house and out from under my wife's feet. Do you expect any calls from old team-mates asking you to go easy on them? They can try! I aim to be very honest but fair at the same time. I'm very cognisant of the fact that, 99 per cent of the time, the guys are doing their best and everyone makes mistakes. I'll try not to focus on the negatives and make suggestions about where things can be improved. That's where I'm coming from. You were working with former Ireland team-mate Brian O'Driscoll on BT Sport for the Munster versus Saracens game. He gave you a big compliment in his recent autobiography, saying you ran in a hat-trick for Munster 'A' against his Leinster side... Drico played in an 'A' game? And I scored a hat-trick? Jesus. If I did, I can't believe I'd have forgotten about it. I remember playing for the main Munster side the night before. We had lost narrowly to Leinster and I gave away a penalty at the breakdown after coming off the bench. That would have spurred me on to play well the following day, at Dooradoyle. We had a good 'A' side back then. Ronan O'Gara, Frankie Sheahan, guys like that. We had all come through playing in Ireland Schools, Under 21s, for Munster, and were a tight group. You may have conceded a penalty at the breakdown in that Leinster game (in 1999) but it was an area of your game that was world-class. Were you always confident in that department? Not at all. I was a ball carrier. I was not good at the nitty gritty. That part of the game didn't come naturally to me. At times I was getting bogged down in that side of the game. My main strength had been ball-carrying. I was getting hung up on poaching. I remember a chat with Deccie Kidney around 2000. I wanted to break into the national team. He told me to focus on what I was good at. I was most comfortable getting my hands on the ball so I offered myself up for more and it worked out well. The breakdown evolved over the years. Ireland, under Eddie O'Sullivan, got Brian McLaughlin in. I remember him bringing in a net with four poles to prop it up. You had to run under the net, keep a low centre of gravity, a ninety degree turn and go clean out a ruck. Full-on bosh. You would meet with Brian after each match and he would talk to you about each ruck you hit. He did it with every player. Those discussions - about your mentality, what you would do different, technique tips - helped my game there so much. The breakdown, and ruck-clearing was a real positive for Ireland last season. What have you made of the new, ruthless mentality? I've been very impressed. Ireland had 500-odd rucks in the Six Nations, by far the most of the other teams. A high percentage of them were clean; they were very efficient. They were like Munster in a way - high intensity, multi-phase rucks with every player pitching in. That creates gaps. Even if you are making a metre, half metre each time, you are forcing them back. You then go wide to someone like Simon Zebo and he gains twenty metres by punching through that gap. We first saw Joe Schmidt use this against the All Blacks and it worked so well. They improved again in the Six Nations and teams found it very hard to cope with. The more and more defending you are forced to do, the more sapped you get and the more lapses in concentration occur. Will Simon Easterby add to that ruck-clearing mentality as the new Ireland forwards coach? I have the utmost respect for Simon and, like Axel (Anthony Foley), was not surprised to see him take up coaching. I remember first meeting him while playing with Ireland Under 21s. We sat down for lunch together and, almost immediately, he was drilling me for information on tactics and plays. I was thinking 'This guy is intense. I'm trying to relax and have some lunch here.' He is very clued-in, has a great understanding of the game and has such an extensive footballing brain. He is meticulous so will fit in well with Joe and Les Kiss. If there was one rule you could change in sport, what would it be? I've started watching a lot of American Football lately. Interesting sport but I wish they could speed it up. As for rugby, I would like to see any penalties scored from scrums worth only two points. It is often such a subjective, fifty-fifty call from the refs that the punishment is often too great for a team doing little wrong. We'll ease off the throttle for a moment and ask who your favourite cartoon character was and is today? We only had RTE One and RTE Two only came on around 3pm when I was younger. I would've watched a lot of Bosco. When I got a little older, it would have been Earthworm Jim. Now, Family Guy is always a laugh and I love Randy Marsh in South Park. He is a legend ... 'Sharon, Sharon!' I hope I'm a better parent than him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omelPRnVCbM What is the last movie you watched? It was probably something on Netflix and probably a film for the kids. I can't remember the last time I was in the cinema. Your priorities change when you have three kids. Oh, one film that I watched recently and really liked was a cop one with Samuel L Jackson. The Other Guys. I thought that was really funny. I'd recommend it. Despite your reputation as a no-nonsense player, you were always clean-cut and well presented. Did you ever lapse over to the beard side? About seven or eight years ago, Myself and Donncha O'Callaghan both made a vow that we would not shave for a month. Donners being Donners meant he shaved after a week and left me to grow a ginger beard on my own . I stuck it out for three or four weeks but it irritated me so much, I had to shave it off. If you could be reincarnated as any animal, what would it be? Some kind of bird. An eagle. Top dog, up in the air. Not having to worry about predators. Ever tempted to get inked up? I'd never get a tattoo. The worst one I have ever seen has to be Quinny (Alan Quinlan). He has thin stringy, barb-wire tattoo around his bicep. Like Pamela Anderson's. Awful. Who were your sporting heroes growing up? Ireland's Triple Crown side of 1985. They still have posters of them up in pubs around Limerick. Ciaran Fitzgerald, Trevor Ringland, Brendan Mullin, Donal Lenihan. I looked up to Michael Bradley, he was a very cool scrum-half. Growing up, they were gods to me. My brother, Richard, played with many of them at Munster and I remember, when he was still living at home, answering the phone. It was Brendan Mullin looking for Richard. I was like, 'Oh my God.' What are your proudest moments in the Munster and Ireland jerseys? Munster's Heineken Cup win in 2006 tops them all. We had journeyed so long and had come so close that finally getting there, in front of so many friends, family and Munster fans, at the Millennium Stadium made it an unforgettable win. For Ireland, you can't look past the Grand Slam. We had been together for a long time as a group of players and didn't have too much to show for it. We had won a lot of games, a few Triple Crowns but no silverware. We had that meeting of minds in Enfield, not long after Munster had pushed the All Blacks close. Rob Kearney stood up and said we should bring that provincial mentality to the national team. We needed that X factor in a green jersey. Rob's worries struck a chord. We realised we had to bring that winning mentality into the national side. We started off in top form and beat France at home. After that we kicked on - momentum was key - and we were left with that cup final against Wales at the end. It was a great time to be involved with Ireland. Finally, if there's something strange in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? Peter Clohessy! I remember first coming into the Ireland team and being in a pack with the likes of John Hayes, Axel, Gaillimh, Quinny, Trevor Brennan and Claw. I was the smallest guy there. The players back then were real, grizzled men and Claw was the best, and worst, of them all. David Wallace will be writing every week on rugby and cartoon characters for SportsJOE.ie