Mesut Ozil’s vivid recount of a Jose Mourinho half time meltdown sums both men up

"You're not Zidane..."

No need to point that out, Jose. Mesut Ozil releasing a book at 28 and actually freely telling people a story about how a manager thought he was a 'coward' and a 'baby' really says it all. This is Mesut Ozil, ladies and gentlemen. In his book, Mesut Ozil: Gunning For Greatness, the German international tells the story of a Jose Mourinho hairdryer when the pair were at Real Madrid together. It's a moment that brought the current Arsenal player to describe how he 'loathed' his then manager but it didn't stop him declaring his love for the Portuguese native either - or, of course, getting him to write the foreword to the book. No, Mesut Ozil is a special kind of flaky. In an encounter with Deportiva La Coruna back in 2012, the attacking midfielder described Mourinho's verbal assault of him despite Madrid being 3-1 to the good. In Ozil's own words, he was 'on it about 80 or 90 per cent'. So you can imagine in reality how on it he actually was. In an extract serialised by the Daily Mail, the player describes the incident in which the boss accuses him of going at 50 per cent.

I’ve had enough now. ‘What do you actually want from me?’ I snap back at him.

‘I want you to play as well as you can,’ Mourinho yells. ‘I want you to go into tackles like a man. Do you know what it looks like when you tackle? No? Let me show you.’

Mourinho stands on tiptoes, thrusts his arms down by his sides, purses his lips and minces around the dressing room. ‘That’s how you tackle. Ooh, I mustn’t get hurt. And absolutely mustn’t get dirty,’ he shouts while repeating his Ozil tackle parody.

‘If you’re so great, why don’t you get out there and play yourself?’ I scream now, ripping off my jersey and hurling it at his feet. ‘Here. Put it on. Off you go.’

Mourinho just laughs spitefully. ‘Oh, are you giving up now?’ he asks. ‘What a coward,’ he says harshly, moving to within just a few centimetres of me. ‘What do you want? To crawl under a nice, warm shower? Shampoo your hair? Be on your own? Or do you want to show your team-mates, the fans out there and me what you’re capable of?’

‘Do you know what, Mesut? Cry if you like! Sob away! You’re such a baby. Go and take a shower. We don’t need you.’

Read the full extract here.

Maybe, maybe just a coincidence but Mourinho left Real Madrid that season. Maybe not. Probably not. That was in September after they won the league. They didn't defend it anyway.

Mesut Ozil, likewise, didn't last at the Bernabeu either, leaving for Arsenal the following summer - a natural habitat for his self-confessed 80 per cent play. A more forgiving climate for what is, in reality, 50 per cent.